Unshakeable Sisterhood - #23

Well, since I can't seem to sleep, I thought I may as well get a post or two in. As most people know, I am tied for the youngest in my family. So, getting to know my two older sisters has happened mostly in my adult life since they were already moved out of the house from the time I can remember. Rachelle, Melanie, and Anne are so special to me and dear to my heart. I can't imagine losing one of them because we are so close.

I have to say that I believe one of the reasons we are so close as sisters is because we have all experienced traumatic tragedies. Rachelle lost both her parents, my aunt and uncle, when she was 5-years-old. My parents adopted her. Melanie has buried two sweet babies. Both experiences have shaped and molded them into amazingly steadfast women. I can't imagine the pain and heartache both have suffered, but with mine and Anne's trials to throw in the mix, we make a strong, unshakeable sisterhood.

Since I've already written tributes about Rachelle and Anne, I want to write about Mell tonight. Melanie is a spiritual colossus. Her example and testimony always help remind me to keep trekking. I want to be like Melanie when I grow up (if I ever grow up). I want to have the faith she has and her ability to share it with strength. I also want to learn how to be is organized as she is (kind of a side note), but her house always looks so perfect and organized. I have a feeling that this part of Melanie that I love so much will take decades for me to fulfill, but hey, that's all right.

Melanie is an incredible mother. She has three extremely adorable kids and she is so good with each of them. Because of her loss, I believe her ability to be a very involved and loving mother was strengthened. She does not take her sweet children for granted. She's constantly giving to them and spending time with them which is so fun to watch. Another thing I love about Mell is that she is a prolific reader. She is often  reading scholarly  books and articles about parenting. She told me the other day on the phone how serious she took her job as a mother and how important it was for her to learn all she could. This has also inspired me to be a better mother, more focused on the actual importance of it rather than the sometimes mundane tasks.

Mell, you are such a sweetheart. I value our bond and look forward to continually learning from your example while growing closer to you and your precious family. Thank-you for teaching me how to be strong in the refiner's fire. I love you dearly.

A Legacy of Faith - #22

Death. To some it is scary. To others, just another part of life. My view on the sometimes too taboo subject changed in late June, when I had the honor of being with my Grandmother as she passed. Although most deaths are not as peaceful as my dear grandmother's, I know that there is peace found after the passing and there is a life outside of this mortality.

Let me explain by first describing my beautiful grandma. Grandma Chapman has got to be one of the most stubborn in my family. She was always determined to support herself and do everything the way she wanted it done. She took pride in her independence and her ability to be successful. My grandma was born with the type of energy one needs to run a marathon every day or raise and support 11 children as a single working mother (which she successfully did). My grandma would go and go and go even until her early 70's. She loved to work and she was good at it. Sadly, several years ago, she had a stroke and began dealing with a 1-minute brain. I know it frustrated her because she used to say to me, "I'm nuts, aren't I?" Like part of her knew what was going on but she had no control over it. This process was sometimes extremely hard to watch because her mental sharpness was one of the things my grandma took pride in. Along with the mental problems came the mobility problems. She couldn't do things by herself which caused her a lot of frustration. Even with all of these ailments, my sweet grandma refused to die. There were several times where we had thought she wasn't going to recover from a fall, infection, or a serious surgery, but her stubborn perseverance kept her alive. Personally, I think she didn't want to leave all of her family behind, and she still had so much energy left to give.

Well, with the deeply saddening passing of my grandmother's daughter and grandson, I watched as her resilience to death began to change. Once, in her near-coma state, she said out loud, "Who is the lady in white over there?" She pointed to the corner.  My mom being in the room at the time said she had felt the presence of her sister and knew she was there watching over my grandma. It wouldn't be long after that when my grandma passed. It was like she realized she had family waiting for her and she made the decision to go. A few hours before her passing, I quietly sat with her and held her hand. At that point, I was in utter denial of her health status. She hadn't talked or communicated for several hours, so I thought I could see if I could talk with her. I said, "Grandma, I love you." I received no reply. Then hesitantly, I said, "Grandma, will you say hello to Dad for me?" Almost immediately she squeezed my hand with strength. Then that was the last sign of communication I had had with her, and it leaves with me today the thought that she would deliver the message because she would see him.

I write all of this because my grandma has taught me the lesson of letting go of fear. She has also taught me to stay true to the gospel because it's what brings happiness. I remember one time eating dinner with her. She had a one-minute memory so having a normal conversation like we used to have was no longer available. Still, curious of my grandmother's utter conviction to her beliefs, I asked, "Grandma, how do you know the church is true." She replied,"Well that's easy. You just follow the principles and you are happy." For her, it was kind of like a no-brainer, and I have the feeling that was the case for most of her life.

I have been left to ponder my sweet grand-mother's example as well as the lesson she had taught me before she passed. I deeply miss my grandmother. I miss the memories of learning from her and listening to her stories; however,  I know that there is not an end to them. There will be more memories to be made. When I am dying, I hope and pray my children and grand-children will be able to shout, "Say hello to Grandma Chapman and Grandpa Major for me." And I hope they will know that I will deliver the message because I too carry my sweet grandmother's legacy of faith and the truth of the afterlife. 

My Gorgeous Friend La Belle - #21

Today I woke up realizing my Ursula cold has taken away my voice. Don't worry, I haven't "underestimated the importance of body language" or the voice that comes from blog writing thanks to a very endearing and encouraging friend of mine. This morning she text messaged me,  "Um, can I just say I love, love, love your grateful blog! Keep writing in it!! I'm learning so much!!" After reading this, I felt a bit of energy zing into my body so that I could write about this wonderful friend of mine.

Back on the subject of Disney movies, if I had to describe Heather in terms of Disney Princesses, I would have to say she is Belle. I googled Belle's personality and decided to paste it on here because it is so perfectly fitting for Heather:

Belle has gained a significant amount of intelligence over the years due to her love of books, providing her with a wide vocabulary, active imagination, and open mind. She is very confident and outspoken in her opinions, and seldom likes being told what to do. Belle is somewhat a women's-libber for her time, and refuses to be mistreated, undermined, demeaned or controlled by any man. Belle realizes that having dreams is great, but sometimes you need to look beyond them and find what you're truly looking for. Belle is quite witty, and is able to use this trait to her advantage. Belle has a strong sense of character, and is able to use this trait in a variety of ways, and although Belle is quite ignorant of her own beauty, she does somewhat manage to use her feminine charm to her advantange.
(http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Belle)

One of the first times I talked to Heather at BYU-Idaho, she said to me quite bluntly, "I can tell we are going to be best friends, friends for life!" I stood there thinking, "I barely even know this girl. What do I say to that?" So I just said, "thanks," and at that point I don't think I realized how grateful I really would be for the truthfulness of her future prediction. Now, although I feel special that I am one of Heather's close friends, I do have to mention that I am one of many. You know how the whole castle falls in love with Belle? Well, that is very much the same with Heather. Those who take the time to get to know her, end up absolutely loving and adoring her. And, I might add, end up being changed.

I know without a doubt that Heather came into my life during the time I needed her most. I had just been heartbroken and with Heather's very complimentary and encouraging ways, I was able to realize my potential and look forward with faith. Seriously, Heather has an uncanny way of helping people see what they are gifted with and then encouraging them to excel in that gift. During down days, I remember her saying things like, "you're THE Maps Major! Nothing can get you down." She had a way of making me feel special. During those days in college, Heather helped me realize that I needed to choose success because it wasn't going to come to me by feeling sorry for myself. Such is the reason I continued to get involved in the service program at BYU-Idaho.

I have to mention that like Belle, Heather is one of those people who aren't afraid to take a hold of adventures and dreams and make them part of their lives. When Heather gets an idea in her mind, there is nothing that can get in her way--except maybe God. When Heather graduated from BYU-Idaho, she decided she was going to move to Washington  D.C. For a girl who grew up in the "provincial town" of Grantsville, this was quite the move. But she did it and has become quite successful there; she has worked her way up to Orin Hatch's secretary. Now, Heather is studying the GMAT and is preparing to get a grad degree, and I have no doubt she will do so with the old addage of flying colors.

One of the more tragic life-changing experiences Heather went through about two years ago was the passing of her dear Father who had courageously battled Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Watching Heather's ability to keep pressing forward as an example and pillar to her 8 siblings has truly been remarkable. Under insurmountable stress and pressure, she continues to give to her mother and siblings and continues to support them the best she knows how. During her supportive role, Heather has been trying to work through her own grieving process as well as trying to figure out who she is now. I have talked to her on numerous occasions and I often hang up feeling baffled at how positive she is during her grief. She often tells me exactly how she feels but spins it into what she is doing to overcome it and how much she is learning from it. Even on her down days, she never fails to recognize God's hand in her life and the angels that are watching over her. I hope one day she will write a book on how she worked through her grief because she does it so gracefully.

Heather, I love you girl! Thank you so much for all the inspiring and encouraging moments. Thank-you for pushing me to be better and brighter. Thank-you for all the fun and wonderful memories you made with me during college. I hope you know that you are always the same amazing Heather who I have grown to love in life. It's been incredible to watch as you have grown colorful wings these past couple years. Remember, wanting to change back to who you used to be before you experienced tragedy would be like a butterfly trying to re-cocoon to turn back into a caterpillar. This is something you actually inadvertently taught me years ago. : )

P.S.  thanks for nudging me this morning to get going. Love you dearly.



Heather with M: