Monday, November 12, 2012

#28 - Grateful for my Sharon Bear

I had just had a tonsillectomy with an adenoidectomy at the same time to correct some major sinus problems I was having. I felt like I was a Frankenstein reviving from the dead with blackish eyes and plastic stints hanging from my nose. My face ached from ear to ear and my throat felt like it was no longer a needed body part because eating and drinking was so hard for me to do. I believe it was Day 2 after my surgery, John had to work and I was feeling miserable, isolated, and lonely. My mother was out of town and all of my sisters lived far away. All of the sudden, I heard a knock on my door and someone took the liberty of letting themselves in. Immediately, when I heard the name “Maps” called out, my body filled with warmth and I began to cry. It was Sharon Oler, a good college friend of mine, who had driven from Pocatello to Centerville, Utah to check on me and see how I was doing. She brought me some beautiful flowers and enough homemade soup for me to eat the next couple of days. Tears were streaming down my swollen cheeks and in her soft, cute voice she said, “Oh honey, you don’t need to cry. I just came down to check on you.” But my tears were tears of pure gratitude, and I was so full of it that they seeped uncontrollably. I just couldn’t believe I had a friend who loved me enough to drive down from Pocatello to make me soup and give me flowers. Sharon sat with me for a while and asked if there was anything else she could do for me; I had her help me with a few things. If I remember right, she helped straighten up my room and cleared some dishes. Then about an hour later said, “I have to go home now but I love you and am here for you.” I asked her where she needed to be and she said she needed to go into work. Again, it just boggled my mind that she would go at such great lengths to show she cared for me when her schedule was so crazy. So I cried after she left, only my tears remained grateful, not frustrated and self-pitying because I knew when Sharon said, “I’m here for you,” she really meant it.

Another time when I was going through a rough time, Sharon sent me a personalized teddy-bear. Now every time I look at it, it reminds me of one of my favorite things about Sharon: her bear hugs. Her hugs have a way of making me feel like all is right in the world. Seriously, there is such thing as the gift of hugging and Sharon undoubtedly has it. Her hugs make the world melt away and make you realize you are standing on a reviving earth full of wholeness. I miss those hugs so much.

When I was first married, my husband and I moved to Centerville and although we were living in my hometown with family, I felt lonely. John was going to school and working full time and I was trying to juggle my degree and some health problems that made it difficult for me to work, which for someone extroverted like me made the days go by very slow as I was alone a lot. Sharon kept me from going insane. She’d let me talk and talk and talk over the phone with her and she just listened to me. Never judged me—just loved me. She visited me a few times and every time she did, I didn’t want her to leave. I wished she lived down the street from me. But alas, she was meant to be in Idaho where she met her husband and happily settled down to start a family in Oregon. She now lives in the D.C. area and I still wish she lived down the street from me. Perhaps one day.

Sharon, thank you so much for your friendship and for the sacrifices you made for me while I was struggling with self-doubt and health problems. Thanks for your pep talks and for making me feel special no matter what. I’m so happy you have found your own happily ever after. Stay in touch with me when you have the time.

Miss you,


  1. She sounds like such an amazing friend and thoughtful person!! I'm glad you shared this, it makes me want to do better :) And I need to call you, we need to catch up!